The beginning...

Hello friends!

We're very new to this blog thing and have no clue what we're doing (so please go easy on us) but thought this may be the best way to keep our loved ones up to date on Cooper's journey and progress. Also, we're taking this opportunity to journal our feelings and emotions through it all so it may get a bit long winded...this is kind of therapy for me as I sit in the hospital for hours on end.

Let's start at the beginning...

MOMMIE'S STORY:  Thursday was a day like most others for us...a silly toddler with messy hair eating breakfast as we talked about what the day had in store as a family. I had woken up with an urge to get the baby's stuff ready and we made plans to do it all over the weekend so that nesting mommy could calm down. Neil headed to work and Ellie and I began our day. After story time at the library and lunch Ellie went down for a nap and I sat down for a bit of a rest. I had been feeling a bit out of breath, shaky, and out of sorts for a few weeks so was taking full advantage of resting when it was an option. As I was laying on the couch snuggling with our pup Zeus I heard a voice inside of me (I'm convinced God was telling me what I needed to hear) say, "Your baby hasn't been moving..." I realized very quickly that something felt a little off. I began to focus on baby. I drank juice, laid on my side, and just waited. And waited. And waited. I picked up the phone to call my OB and felt a flip in my tummy. WHEW! After that I was a bit relieved. Until dinner time rolled around and I realized it had been another 3 hours since I had felt my little kicker move again. So the process of side laying and sugar in-take started again but this time I waited until 10pm when the tears and panic came. I called my OB and was sent to the hospital by a groggy doctor on call.

Upon arrival they found our bean's heartbeat (SIGH OF RELIEF) and then it was a waiting game. Baby still wasn't moving but his heart rate was decent. The doctor ordered an ultrasound and we found a very limp little baby. We tried everything to get him moving but nothing helped. The tears began again and a new plan unfolded. I was admitted to stay overnight and was shot with steroids in case the baby needed to be delivered (Let me just tell you that mommies that have to have steroid shots for their baby's lungs are showing their deep DEEP love for their baby by enduring it because HOLY MOLY did that hurt! Totally worth it though.) We would do another ultrasound at 7:30am and then reassess.

By this time it was 1am and Neil's only option was to wake our very spunky 20 month old and head to the hospital just in case. My mom started the 5 hour drive here to take Ellie back to bed and the hours slowly, SLOWLY ticked by. After 3 hours of no sleep and Ellie running through the hospital room pretending to dance with Cinderella, we decided it was best for her and Neil to go home until nana arrived. Neil came back just in time for a few minutes of laying together, crying, praying, and hoping.

They wheeled in a chair for me and off to the ultrasound we went. After about 10 minutes of seeing that same limp baby with just a slightly less impressive heartbeat the tech excused herself to give an update and was quickly followed back into the room by 3 women in scrubs and masks that began changing out my IV and telling me we were going to take the baby now. (I can't even type this without crying and shaking...scariest moment of my life). My OB walked in and gave me a huge hug, thank God for that! I was shaking, crying, and I'm sure white as a sheet. Neil was looking much the same and had been shoved back into the corner at this point during the process. I began asking about being awake during surgery and there was a bit of silence.  My doctor got an update on baby's stats and then promised to do all she could to make sure I could stay awake. Neil was told that I'd be awake so he was whisked to a room to wait to be escorted into surgery with me. Next thing I know I'm put in a wheel chair and pushed down a hall to a door. When the doors swing open there were about 30 people in scrubs and masks waiting for us. Talk about intimidating! And this is all happening to a person that has never had any surgery, general anesthesia, really anything more invasive than an epidural and IV. They had me up on the table in no time and then they hit me with the news that they couldn't keep me awake. After lots of hugs from nurses and reassuring I laid back and was put to sleep. My final thought before being knocked out was, "God I know you have us in your hands. Save us. Save my baby." God is so good! He did just that!

What seemed like 1 second later I woke up in lots of pain and immediately asked,"Did I have a boy or a girl?" BOY! We had our Cooper James! Then came the more important questions.."Did he cry? Is he ok? Is he stable?" Alot of my questions were sidestepped and avoided. The nurses were as sweet as could possibly be  and said he was stable and safe right now as far as they knew. No one could tell me if he had cried. I just laid with my eyes closed and prayed, thanking God for getting us both through delivery safely; praying for miracles, strength, and wisdom for the hours, days, weeks, and months to come. I then opened my eyes to the OB that performed my surgery and the OB that sent me into the hospital. They both thanked me for saving my baby's life. Turns out that little Cooper wouldn't have made it through the day in the womb...so thankful for God's voice and direction! Right after talking with them I began to pray again only to be woken my my pastor's hand on my arm, again THANK YOU GOD! We had a moment of prayer and talked about my dream boy that I hadn't met yet, then in walked my loving husband. Neil was quite stunned and lost. He filled me in on our Cooper and we waited to be cleared to head up for our first moment all together.

Three hours after Cooper's birth I was wheeled in on a transport bed with Neil at my side to meet my son...my sweet, limp, tiny, little Cooper. His body was so frail and floppy and he had tubes and wires coming from everyplace but he was oh so beautiful! There was my boy. Living, breathing, and laying outside of my body 10 weeks before he should have been. Life had changed in a moment and our journey had begun...

DADDY'S STORY: After putting Ellie back to sleep and meeting Denise, I rushed back as quickly as possible downtown to get back in time for the ultrasound. Lots of questions and fears going through my mind. When I got back up to the room we were able to spend a few minutes before we were told the tech had arrived and was preparing for us. As we walked down the hall to the ultrasound room I remember thinking, "hopefully there is some good news this time." While in the room we could see that the baby had a heartbeat but wasn't moving and all attempts to get him to move weren't working. As the tech took measurements and looked at various different parts, things seemed to settle on the cord and an intense eye could diagnose that something may be wrong. It had already been a few minutes when the tech excused herself to give the team an update saying she's be right back. When she came back in is when the blur began for me as she was not alone. At that point we found out the baby was going to come out right away. The OB was very nice to tell us the urgency without trying to alarm us (yeah right). More nurses came in to prep Tracie and I stepped back to allow them space. Suddenly the room was full of doctors and nurses as Tracie and I exchanged looks knowing we were in good hands but afraid because things had just taken off like a rocket. I honestly can't tell you how much time passed, but as Tracie was exiting the room I was told to go gather our things from the observation room and a nurse would escort me. After I gathered everything I would take them down to the c-section room. As I was dropped in the c-section waiting room the nurse told me she would go get me a gown to join Tracie in surgery. While waiting I took the opportunity to update a few people on the situation. Then a nurse approached me and said to follow her, as we were walking toward big metal doors she leaned in and said, "Do you want to know what it was?" At this point I didn't know what she was talking about and stuttered, not knowing what was happening. When it all caught up to me I stumbled out a shaky "yeah," and she said, "It's a boy!" Then she directed me to sit in a chair at the end of the hallway. As I sat I passed along more updates on the news that I HAVE A BABY BOY! I was feeling happy and excited but also afraid and confused. When the door opened the doctor greeted me and showed me the baby. I was overwhelmed with all the medical wording he was spouting and about being completely left out of where Tracie was and what was happening to her. After he gave me the update on Cooper I was escorted to the elevator with the nurses and rode to level 4...the NICU. Once the baby arrived I basically stood back and let all the nurses do their diagnostics and hook up the MANY machines that will keep our boy growing and safe for the weeks/months to come. It was alot to digest and I just stood in silence through the madness of the moment. They told me I could finally see Tracie in an hour and I just stood in shock listening to the noises around me until one voice rang above the others saying "your wife is asking for you."

I walked into Tracie's recovery room to find her groggy and in pain but anxious to learn about our baby boy. We had a few minutes to chat and I tried my best to fill her in despite the overwhelming amounts of information I had been trying to soak in minutes before. We talked in the C-Section recovery room until they strapped Tracie to the transport bed and we were brought to meet our Cooper, together. I was so happy to see Tracie's face as she looked at our boy for the first time and touched his little body. It was so hard to see all his tubes and wires but we were so happy to just have him with us.