Thank you doesn't cut it

Since starting this journey we have been immersed with love, devotion, prayer, gifts, kindness, and such amazingly beautiful selfless acts of generosity that we are overwhelmed. We honestly can't say thank you enough for all of your encouragement and help through this time. This has by far been the most challenging time we have ever faced in our lives thus far and to see and feel of the love coming from our friends and family is truly astounding. You are carrying us through this in more ways than I can express. I hang on every comment on the blog and facebook, and long for my boy to be lifted to the Lord through your prayers, so please know that every act and word from you is noticed and appreciated beyond measure. We have been blessed by a mealtrain that a dear friend organized and upon logging in we found that we are covered for meals from now until Christmas! There are just no words for our gratitude. We have been gifted with such things of beauty...angels to place in Cooper's room to watch over our boy, prayer and devotional books, food, clothes, prayer shawls (crocheted shawls for myself, Cooper, and Ellie that were each prayed over for each of us the entire time they were being made in order to literally cover us in prayer through this tough time), visits, care baskets, and so much more. We are just incredibly grateful and want to extend our deepest thanks to each and every one of you. Just knowing you're reading this blog and concerned for our Cooper and family is heart warming and overwhelming. We love and appreciate you all.

Our boy seems to be turning a corner...a good corner! We have no doubt that every prayer and positive thought you have lifted for our son is why these amazing things are happening. He is getting better. Everyday the list of tests and hurdles is minimizing. In our new world we know better than to get too worked up over a few good days since things can change quickly but I will say that the light seems to be getting brighter and the heaviness is lifting a bit. He is still a sick and tiny boy and has a long road ahead but I can SEE his road now and I'm allowing myself to believe in his path. To see an end to this reality and a beginning to the one I look forward to. Our boy is doing well for the time being and I'm hanging onto that for dear life.

Cooper is at my side as I type this with a calm and steady heart rate in the 140's-150's (much different than the 190's we were up against just a few days ago) and as cozy as can be. What a comforting feeling to have him an arms length away. Sadly this night will end and I'll have to be away from him pretending my world hasn't halted. For the past 2 weeks (I can't believe tomorrow at 8:50am Cooper will be 2 weeks old) our world isn't the only one that has stopped...my parents have completely walked away from their world as well. They dropped everything and have taken on so much responsibility of Ellie and our home, again, thank you just doesn't cut it! With them here I felt free to spend as much time in the hospital at Cooper's side as possible and am beyond grateful for that luxury. But life must go on. Today nana had to head back to Illinois and her busy life. She refused to leave until our Cooper was much healthier and by God's grace he is getting there so today she made her tearful drive back home. I have no doubt that she'll be back in the weeks to come but for now I have to face the fact that I can't just come see our boy whenever I want. Something has to give and I have to choose between the two pieces of my heart...Ellie and Cooper. The balance will be hard to find and we'll need to lean on our amazing friends and family yet again, but we'll get there. It will be painful because no option is ideal but hopefully in a few weeks time this will all be a memory as our family finally unites in our own home!

I find it fitting that I've spent my day overwhelmed with thankfulness given that it's the first day of November, the month when most of us begin to count our blessings. I try to make it a habit of beginning and ending each day thanking God for my blessings but at this moment I'm thankful for more than I can express. The blessings are overflowing and I'm amazed by it! Amidst this time of confusion, frustration, heart ache, and pain the blessings still flow freely and immensely. 

So, as insufficient as this is...thank you to you all.